Personal Updates

I'm tired...forgive me....just going to make a list.

1. Made a new friend, Stacy. We are twins beneath the skin (read she is 4 inches taller, black and a whole lot cuter...but we both have a wacky sense of humor and high intelligence). Our first hang-out time we went to a local non-meat-market bar and had some french fries and a couple of drinks. An ugly, OLD, weird white guy kept hitting on her. Long story short....after I let her suffer for a few, I leaned into her, whispered in her ear...just pretend we are gay, and then I stroked her back and shoulder ever so sensuously...shared a few words and watched the ugly, OLD, weird white guy scurry out. It was hilarious. Look for more fun retellings soon.

2. I'm doing better on house cleaning.

3. I'm doing worse on quitting smoking.

4. My sister still hasn't picked up her damned cats. I swear I am going to cook some exotic cuisine here pretty soon.

5. Walter and Danielle broke up, it wasn't mean though. Still friends. YAY that they are friends and that it was so easy to take.

6. S'posed to meet a sometime commenter on this very blog this coming weekend. I met him on POF and we share a lot of commonalities, including autistic family members. I've considered him a friend for a long while. I'm looking way forward to it. He's a really funny, nice man.

7. I've been spending an inordinate amount of time lately doing favors for my friends and family. Right now I am trying to fix not 1 but 3 computers....Figures that not even one of them is an easy fix right? I need to finish an Estate for Dennis (the old boss), I am preparing some fliers for another friend.

8. I have a lot of studying to do that I am procrastinating about regarding the new position. Someone tell me to quit playing around and take it serious OK?

9. I'm looking at men as something other than Fate's weapon against me these days. I've made the conscious choice not to wax poetic about a budding romance in this forum again (not because of you people, but because of me being embarrassed about being stupid), but its safe to say that I am interested in pursuing romance again. When I actually commit to just one and I am positive it is going to last a while, I'll let you in on it.

10. I've decided to move in June hopefully. I'm hoping to work out something with Dennis regarding his apartments. He's been wanting me to manage them for cut rate rent, but I want two of the apartments....not just one. I need a bit more space than he thinks. More negotiations. One way or another I am moving out of this dump. Going to start packing this week.

11. Work is going to be killer the next 2 months or so.

12. For those who asked, my new blog links are there to the right of this screen under *My Words* Most of them are just reposts or rewritten snippets from this blog or the old one. at this point, but henceforth it should mostly be new stuff.

So please forgive my frequent absences from this forum and yours....Maybe I will have it all together again sometime yet this Summer!

Wish me luck!

Unbored

Hey everyone...

Sorry about the AWOL again. I've been pretty busy. I've decided not to leave the Inn. I still don't like what happened with my daughter, don't appreciate the office politics. Also, I will be in contact with the business side of the building as well here in the near future and I might be able to get her into one of the other business' future openings. (One side of the building is just office space and doesn't fall under the *no family* rules).

You guessed it.

I've received a BIG promotion at work. It was involuntary but now I am warming up to it pretty good. A new position is being created just for me. Go ahead....stroke my ever expanding ego. Its ok. I likes it. It won't be a lot more pay at first, but they've backed themselves up with me before when they said it would come later. I haven't even been there a year yet and have received several raises. I can't complain about that. I will be getting my own office which will help out a lot as far as getting my job done without interruptions.

I wasn't planning for this. It is probably going to be almost all I can handle for a while. Certainly don't have the time for it. I don't care that much about money or position. However....I am not getting any younger and this is one Hell of an opportunity. I'd be a fool not to take it and give it my best shot. I am a lot of things....but not stupid.

I'm going for it!

What I am to be, is some kind of liaison/assistant to all the departments in the two corporations. Mainly with the Hotel Comptroller, General Manager, Building Manager, Maintenance Department and Accountant (for both sides) and I will probably work with rest of the building on a smaller scale. She promised not to completely ban me from the Front Desk either (I absolutely love interacting with our guests). Some of my duties will be secretarial, but most will be managing information. I am still the Geek on Call pretty much too.

I've been chosen for this new position because of my widely varied skills and the fact that everyone seems to like me (the Comptroller/Asst. GM said *The staff just loves you!"). Kewlness. Its good to be liked.

Negotiations will probably take place this week or early next. I already have a front desk meeting on Thursday and it is pretty hard to fit in two meetings in the same week with my varied work responsibilities. So we will see.

I think I am hoping for salary over hourly, and regular daytime 8-5 hours if possible. Chances are I will have to concede a weekend a month or something, but that won't be too awful. I will probably have to start dressing up more, that's ok. I think I still know how to look the part.

What do YOU think I should consider in my negotiations...both concessions and demands. I haven't had to negotiate any kind of real employment issues in YEARS. Any and all help is greatly appreciated.

The more I think about it the more it seems like Radar's job on M.A.S.H.!!!! ROFL

Sumthin Kewl

Paper Based Art

Check out that link... I don't know what it is about this stuff....but I like it.

Just another crazy day!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! My son is having dinner with his girlfriend and her family....OMFG!!! First he gets a girlfriend then he is willing to spend his money (trust me Walter never spends HIS money when he can spend mine) treating his girl to sodas....he's waiting by the freaking phone....and now this!!!!

ROFLMAO....OK OK....I'm kinda sorta coping. It is absolutely adorable and I am happy he's happy. I still want my baby back....the only thing that would make me feel better is for my daughter to call me up and tell me she's going to deliver me a new baby....dern her responsibility!

I've been doing well these days. Getting on with life and flirting outrageously. Not dating yet. Being careful. Enjoying life a lot.

I've been writing and working on my other blog a bit...its mostly re-posts right now...but it will be where I keep my real essay writing since I can't seem to stop myself from going knee deep into the personal in this blog. Not that the new one isn't personal...just more applicable to others.

Next thing is to do a new poetry page.

At work, I sort of let it slip that I may be looking for another job, sheesh....I only wanted to let the Manager I do like understand my position so that we can stay friends after and now she wants to move me strictly back office and was willing to adjust my hours like crazy... I dunno...I am still pretty ticked about what happened with Celia...but I'm going to play it by ear a bit. It is good experience.

My little sister had her civil marriage today! Rhonda has never had much joy in her life and has always selflessly sought to bring it to others. I think it's finally her turn.

We are still having a *rerun* wedding and hogroast reception though!

This is how it stands at this point:

Little Miss Prissy and Hubby, Leather Jacket Hard Core Harley Dude will have the marriage blessed in the church. Rhonda will be wearing cream lace, Dave his biker leathers. Then we return to their home for the Native American ceremony. Rhonda will change into authentic (but imho hideously ugly unless we can find a way to fix it and still keep the authenticity intact) Cherokee wedding dress. Her blonde hair and fair skin will no doubt look like a halo about her. Dave will be wearing his biker leathers (YOU GO DAVE!!!! Don't let our crazy Mama intimidate you!) Then of course the HOG ROAST reception with the addition of a Polish potluck wedding dinner (which you know I will be helping to cook). There will be a rock band and dj'd music. Rhonda is planning white table cloths with lace over the pic-nic tables and area tables, flowered centerpieces and various temporary landscaping. She wants a lot of ribbons and bows.

Does anyone know where I can find miniature harleys for the centerpieces? I truly think it would be the finishing touch!

OMG I can't wait!

Where oh where is my little boy?

I have a sleep headache. Its that kind you get when you haven't been sleeping and catch up all at once. Other than that I'm feeling pretty good.

I took Walter skating yesterday...I wish I would have remembered the camera! I didn't watch all of it (y'all know it scares me to watch), but he is getting very impressive these days. Talk abounds about him getting sponsored soon.

He's already begun losing his Winter-weight. As you know he is also attracting a lot of female attention.

The PYT's don't bother me so much....its the older girls I want to slap! Some of these women are in thier 20's and 30's that have begun oggling my baby! I'm thinking *Over YOUR dead body Bitch!*.

After what I seen yesterday, I'm glad he's got himself a girlfriend. That puts him off limits and he is much too old fashioned and too much of a gentleman to cheat on his girlfriend. Since she is as innocent and sweet as he is, it is much better this way. I saw the light of corruption in the eyes of a couple of those bimbettes. I am going to bake Danielle some cookies. Maybe I will take her and Walter to the library or to go swimming at the hotel.

I know he looks older, he's kind of tall, naturally muscular and with that mustache and the beginnings of a beard, but sheesh! I have to get my brother over here to teach this kid how to shave.

I wonder if he would wear a shirt that said *Hey I'm still a kid!*

I'll get a recent picture of him up here soon and y'all can tell me how to make this kid look younger.

Here's one from a year ago:

It's the jaw line isn't it?

Where is that little boy I keep looking for?

He looks like this:



If you see him, Tell him his mama is looking for him!

But he was supposed to stay 4 years old forever....

The 'hood has been quiet since that incident. Walter told me today that I can't make him stay in the house. He will go out when I'm gone.

He feels like a prisoner and he can defend himself he says.

GEEEEEEEZ......

He is, and no he can't, not against guns and knives. But he's right. Nothing I can do. He'll be careful and be inside before dark.

Why his sudden defiance? Well its really not so sudden, but usually when I put my foot down, he doesn't outright defy me, he doesn't act all manly, just resigned and petulant. He respects my right to make the decisions.

He is questioning my reasoning and authority.

My kid..... Even annoyed at him I know where it comes from. I know he means it. He is thinking clearly. He refuses to give in to fear.

He's got a girlfriend. He told me yesterday. He asked permission to give her our phone number.

GEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ.......

I'm not ready for this.

He's my baby. Now he's acting like a guy of all things!

He's almost 15 years old. A little chunky but mostly muscle. He's handsome as the devil in blue jeans, just like my Dad and Grandfather were. I guess I should have known it had to happen pretty soon.

I'm grateful that he's moral and good. He's a gentleman. He is planning to go over and meet little Miss Danielle's parents to make sure its ok for him to hang out with their daughter...OMG, he is sooooooooo old fashioned. He's planning on asking permission to court her in essence.

I know I'm a lucky Mom....but I don't feel so lucky right now. My baby is growing up so fast and his blasted siblings still haven't provided me with a child to hold and cuddle.

He needs to shave. I don't even know how to teach him.

I know that I did and am doing exactly what I was supposed to do with that nearly blue baby I gave birth to all those years ago. I did well, I took a helpless baby boy and turned him into a man who doesn't need me to hold him anymore.

What else could I do?

We worked out the terms, negotiated and compromised. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do....Mom's just gotta deal with it.

I love the man he is becoming but I still want my baby back.

Who amongst you wants to break my fingers?

Stomp on my keyboard?

Shut off my electricity?

Make me stop?

See the reason I need a boyfriend is so that I have someone to write these long long letters too. LOL....

So today was supposed to be the last of the two week window but then later I told him to take as long as he likes with the added comment that basically I might be still here or I might not be. Way to put my foot down right?

Would someone please remind me what I say in these situations?

You know what really is annoying?!?! I'm getting my head together. I'm finding all the pieces to my heart. I have gone two whole days without crying or thinking over much about him. He's still invading my sleep. I have enough problems with sleep. He needs to get out of it!!! I wake up sad, then see the sunshine and I know my world is going to be ok....but I want to wake up happy again.

Puhlease no one tell me that its only been two weeks. In my world that is a long time. I fall down, I get up, I trip again. That is how it works.

When the kids were little I used all kinds of tricks to keep them from having bad dreams. They inherited it from me. I wanted them to feel *in control* even while they slept. I've even had them sleep with a remote so they could *change the channel*. Another thing we did was plan our dreams. We would come up with a script wherein my children came out the victor in their nightly battles.

If I were to employ that trick, would I be truly evil if I imagined He-who-must-not-be-named being castrated while while getting bitten by his next ex? Would it be more socially acceptable for him to be hit by a train? Normally I am not worried about being PC, but I don't want to warp my mind any more than necessary. I just want to get him out of my head.

Perhaps you have a better suggestion? I don't have a problem asking for a ghost writer to make a ghost out of the shadow. Seems appropriate somehow.

You know Einstein said something to the effect that our thoughts were more powerful than our actions. What a concept!

:::::evil grin disguised as a sweet smile::::::

I don't wanna go to work. I want to playyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! It is too sunny to be cooped up. I want to clean up my yard (but I need a rake) and I want to put my screens in (I don't know how but I'll figure it out). I definitely need to wash my windows. I wish I didn't need money so I could have more time. :::sigh::::

Well I guess I better start getting ready. I'm supposed to work 11-7 but I think if I get there early I might get out earlier too....

I feel like scheming.

I'm supposed to be sleeping

Hi again....Damn I've just been prolific lately haven't I? Well I have too much time on my hands and no focus for anything else....

Work was ok today. I did mostly billing work. Some filing. Not much front desk stuff today but I did have a long chat with a guest of ours who happens to be a lawyer. I think he was liking me a bit towards the end. It was kind of funny because, at first he didn't seem attracted to me, but the more we talked about law, the more he moved in closer and closer until I was downright uncomfy with the proximity. Too funny huh? I was glad when I was called away for more office work.

I've been on the phone allllllllllllllllll freakin day it seems. Suddenly everyone is checking up on me! I hate that. Does my family really think I am going to go spastic now? Well at least they are paying back some favors (well except for lil sis Rhonda....I owe her more than I will ever be able to repay in this lifetime, God blessed me with her!).

I love my family, don't misunderstand, crazy disfunctional lot that we are..... but they expect me to be super human sometimes and always assume that I can do everything on my own or..... and this is the thing that ticks me off.... they think I should try to flirt with some guy to get the guy to do stuff. I can say this because I am southern....It's part of the southern way of life. Bat my lashes and men are supposed to grant my wishes. If only it were so easy. Hell if only I would lose my pride and let them....roflmao.....maybe it could be that easy.....

I've become so annoyed with folks lately, for ignoring me or blowing me off when I've asked for a return on the many many favors I've done for all of them (including thousands of dollars worth of free legal because of my connections) from computer repair, to documents and baby sitting that I have quit taking thier calls as a rule. Now that I'm sooooooooooo broken hearted, they are all hovering about (probably to see if I really am human LOL). Not to mention baby-sis Rhonda has probably told them all off about me again (She loves me!!!! I am sooooooooo lucky!) I've decided to take terrible advantage of them all.... well maybe not terrible, but hey, I need a few things done and I am family right?

My brother is going to come over and air up my blasted tires on Friday so I can get it out of my back yard and get new tires put on. (Wow....finally now that the weather IS nice enough to walk in, someone is actually going to help me out, but then again, no one mentioned to my brother I needed it done, even when I asked someone to check with him for me.) My Dad actually made the effort to make sure I received my mail in a timely fashion (I get Walters SS check at thier house because my neighborhood is so bad, and trust me the kid needs the money for stuff related to his socialization issues....I use it all on stuff to help him cope with the form of autism he has) and even Cindy has been getting some of her crap out of my house (now if she'd only take her stupid 3 cats before I get the urge to have road-kill cuisine!).

Rhonda is trying to call in a favor. She wants me to have a game night with her and her fiance's single male friend, Sandy. I'm not real enthused, but apparently I am single whether I feel it or not, and I can't deny Rhonda any reasonable thing, so I told her to set it up and I would go. I know it sounds petty, but I'd feel better about it if he at least had a more manly moniker.... ROFLMAO..... I didn't realize I was that shallow.... Now a man has to be at least 5'8", halfway intelligent and have a cool name... Talk about greedy!! She does understand I am not going to fall for the guy...

It would be nice to have a date for her wedding in August anyway. I think I told y'all about it.... Martha Stewart meets Billy Idol or some such comparison. It is so funny to think of my very proper, very ladylike (remember I was the tomboy) lil sis marrying a biker!!!! I can see her now....all dressed up in black and cream lace and him in his leathers. Seriously it is going to be a blast!!! A hog roast reception. Unbelievable!!!!! I can guarantee you that the picnic tables will have table cloths and center pieces.... I plan to take lots of pictures. It is soooooooo good to see her so happy! No one deserves happiness like her. She's always been my angel, and she's been the angel for quite a few others too. Like I said, God blessed me with her. I'm glad He's blessing Rhonda now.

So another day without shedding tears or receiving email or any other form of communication from he-who-must-not-be-named. I'm dealing pretty well I think....I'm smoking too much though.

Goin fer a walk....

"Today is your day. You're off to Great
Places! You're off and away!"~~Dr. Seuss

I refused all offers today and walked home. It was a beautiful day. I don't know if many of you realize this, but until the Great Depression hit, South Bend was a happening kind of town.

Seriously we were!!!

Some of the most well known politicians and socialites kept homes here. Our streets are named for them! We were pretty affluent back then and it shows in some of the architecture that still stands tightly squeezed between the more modern atrocities (I'm not much for steel and glass buildings...I like brick and wood)here.

If you'd like to join me in my walk home just follow the pictures, I'm not sure I have them in the right order (renamed them all) but close enough.



Leaving work.....I'm so glad I get to work on the main floor of this building...I get dizzy just looking up!



The Court House (I believe this is the second Court House, we have several).



Our own little Lady Liberty.... I know it isn't much, but size isn't supposed to matter.

I just love this copper light. One of these days I expect some derelict to rip it off though....There's been a lot of metal looting from our buildings recently.

I love this doorway, but it looks too forbidding to be on a church! I'm not ready for Judgment yet!

This is the reddest church I've ever seen. Love the round window though.

This is the church in its entirety, I love all the brick and stone work on it.

The steeple on this more modern church looks like its actually trying to reach Heaven.

Now we just begin looking at some of the incredible houses on my way home. Amazingly enough these houses used to be single family homes (no doubt those families had 10 or 15 kids but still!) Now most of them are either apartments or office complexes....

Seriously, what a shame.....

The two pictures below are of my dream house....I've been gazing at this house since I was a little girl.... I have dreams where I actually live in it... It represents so much to me, I don't know why I am so drawn to it, but I have been longer than I can actually remember.... If I ever win the lottery....That baby is MINE!

It was so sunny out that my glasses went almost black and so windy that my face is all red...but I still feel invigorated!

It was a lovely walk and for the first time in month, I feel pretty good about the world!

I do believe it is FINALLY Spring!

So be sure when you step.Step with care and great tact and remember that "Life's a Great Balancing Act." Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left~~~Dr. Seuss

My inner child

I cracked up one of my friends with this today.

My inner child as painted by Norman Rockwell:






Seriously, You have no idea how often I found myself in this particular position then!

I think it suits me right now too.

I haven't cried since I woke up. I've actually cleaned up the mess around the house a bit and I'm going to finish it before the night is through. No letter from the one-who-got-away but that is probably a good portion of the reason I am not crying. I feel a bit stronger without the salt being rubbed into my wounds. Maybe I am even getting a scab or two.

I played rock music all day!

Y'know even when I was a kid I always broke out into a grin when things were about to get *busy*.