Another lazy Monday

I am the procrastination Queen.



I have a messy house.



My dog still needs a bath.



I didn't do any of the work I brought home from work to do.



All this means I am going to have to get up at some ungodly hour.



I wasn't really lazy today though. It has recently come to my attention that I really am 46 years old and I am living like a 36 year old. Yeah ten years makes a difference. I am a single mother of a teen-ager beginning a new career while struggling to have a personal (romantic) life. Yep....some days I am just to friggin old for this!



I find I actually need 6 hours of sleep to function well. 4 hours to function at all. Last night I think I had 3.



Weird political thoughts going through my head (no I am not expounding on them....).



I used up all the synapses I had in reserve today. I actually had to solve problems instead of the rote work that Monday usually involves....which means....tomorrow I have to make up for what I didn't get today and do double duty with whatever comes in the mail to me.....which is a double load because we didn't get mail today.



My dog finally took a liking to her leashed walk....GEEZ....she walked me up the block....she walked me down the block....she walked me up....she walked me down.....then we walked around and around and around the back yard. Then she wanted to play.



I'm goin to bed.........



Lord if Palin shows her plastic face in my dreams tonight....I am gonna bitch slap her!

four letter words.

HOPE is a dangerous occupation. Right now I am paying the price for my resolution to HOPE. I don't even know how high the cost will be. I do know that whatever I've spent, the value of HOPE will exceed the cost. HOPE is a bargain at any price.

This week has been awful, some of it I've already written and some of it will have to wait until I heal a bit. Somewhere in the midst of my misery, HOPE called up Faith and the two of them are holding me up pretty well right now. I guess Faith is my surprise bonus gift when I concentrate on HOPE. I'm still going grayer by the minute. I don't want to eat (but I do) and sleep is a battle every night, in and out of it. But I have some kind of supernatural help. Angels all around me.

I know that whatever happens in the numerous milestones I am crossing right now, that it is going to be for the best. I've left it in God's hands. Good Hands. Better than mine, at least I'm hoping.

It even feels kind of like when I had the surgery on my hands. My thumbs were completely useless before it happened. I was in constant severe pain. Everything I tried to do was an exercise in faith because I was as likely to drop something as to keep holding on. I knew what I needed but I was afraid to do it. I did it anyway. I had HOPE for a miracle, even though one wasn't promised.

FEAR (another four letter word) is the truest opposite of HOPE. Fear takes away joy. HOPE brings it. Fear prevents us from planning. HOPE demands it. Fear smothers us and holds us down. HOPE sets us free.

After I had the surgery my thumbs were completely useless. I was in constant severe pain. Everyting I tried to do was an exercise in faith because I was as likely to drop something as to keep holding on.

Not much difference at first.

I wondered why I had the stupid surgery for a couple of months. It wasn't cheap. I had to put my life on hold for 12 weeks all told (and it probably should have been longer). Then slowly the pain eased. I was able to regain maybe 80-90% of the use of my thumbs again. The pain went away. I still drop things once in a while, but for the most part I can hang on. These hands of mine still work, sometimes differently, but they can get what I need done.

Yeah, I had therapy then, and I may need another type of therapy for my present *surgeries* eventually but at least I can hang on.

I'm not afraid of cutting into myself and repairing the damage anymore. A healed injury is better than a gaping wound. Scars fade and we relearn what we can not repeat.

Body and spirit are not that different.

Just being

Its a beautiful day in the 'hood. Only heard two shots last night! ROFLMAO I should be more concerned but truth be told they are just shooting at each other.

I slept easy anyway.

It's like that old series Highlander....in the end there can be only one. Then hopefully the local police force will be able to stop that one.

I was playing a bit in one of my photo programs and found a cute picture of Walter when he was about 6 and manipulated it into something more indicative of what was to come...




By that angelic face you can see why I didn't see this whole adolescent thing coming..... I shouldn't have let him eat his sister's cookies.... What the Hell does she put in those?

At any rate its a sunnier day and I think I've solved my hives problem...it looks as if I've been spider bitten in a few places. At any rate the hives are clearing up...hopefully it won't take as long as the scratch on my nose (still visible after a month) that the cats gave me.

Have a wonderful day everyone. I will be by tonight after work.

I need sleeeeeeeeeeeeep!

My brain won't stop....

It hasn't stopped in days.

Seriously. I can't sleep. All I do is read, write, email, and chat. All the while I am watching television and reading a book. I've written a couple of poems that I won't post until I read them with a clear mind. My mind is definitely not that.

I went to work today. NO sleep. (I don't know why I can't sleep, I have to be exhausted.) I started in on the computers.....I couldn't even keep a good conversation going with the coworkers who were trying so hard to get to know me....to be my friend.... I made them all faster...stronger....better than they were when I came in....Bits and bytes I understand.

Frenetic is the word that describes me.

Ho Ho Ho zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

My Santa hat's too big! It was a slow day at the inn today. Good thing too, because as you can see by the circles on the circles under my eyes....I've been sleepless lately!

Least my hair is finally growing out!

I earned the Santa cap by the way....

I went shopping for ALL my gifts yesterday....and I did it all in one night....just like the big guy himself.

I was an amazing sight to behold....unless you were in my way. Snatch...Grab....Race to the next aisle....I was utterly AMAZING!!! Not only did I do some great shopping (and y'all know I hate shopping) but I got some great deals too.... I came in UNDER budget this year. Yay me! I bought a new Othello game to reward myself....now I just have to find a WORTHY opponent....and I am soooooooooo good at this game. I bet I could beat you!

The slide show is just some of the goofy people I work with..... I love my job!